Monday, May 23, 2011

Monday Musing

So I was musing the morning about the difference a single day makes and worrying. I am a worrier. I worry about everything. I have gotten a little better as I have gotten older but I am still a worrier. When I was a kid I worried about absolutely everything even the minute details of life like when I was going to take a bath, and my mom tends to be a worrier too, and we come a from a long line of worriers. It's no wonder I am a worrier. I am not sure I had much of a choice in the matter now that I look at it.

But this weekend I had a realization. I went to an amusement park for the first time in many years. I had a blast. I rode the roller coasters and a water ride, and made some wonderful memories.

When we were waiting in line for one of the rides I got really nervous. Almost irrationally nervous and the worrying began to overwhelm me. I kept telling myself it has to be safe or they wouldn't let people ride it...right? I worried how I would feel during the ride, I worried how I would feel after the ride, I worried what if I can't do it, and on and on.

Then it was our turn to ride the ride. All these bells start going off in my head...CRAP! It was really time for me to take that step and get on the ride. So I did. I put the worry aside momentarily and got on the ride. Then the ride started and I realized as everyone really does that it was not that bad. I had worried and put myself through all that stress for absolutely nothing.

Then we went to another ride and it seemed much scarier than the other ride and I went through the process all over again. You would think I had learned my lesson the last one. But I hadn't and I stressed until the moment the ride started. Then the same thing happened to me. I realized it was just fun and not that scary at all.

This is a lot like life I think. I worry and worry and worry about all the things that could happen or that I wish would happen. I occupy my mind with all these thoughts of what if. When all that is required of me is to take that step of faith and get on the ride and everything will be just fine. Worrying didn't change what the ride was like, but it did change my experience. I enjoyed myself, but I spent a lot of time worrying and distancing myself from the events of the day because of my worry.

What God wants is for me to take the step of faith, and to let him take care of the rest. So for today that is what I am doing. I am putting worry aside and taking that step knowing that no matter how scary the ride looks it is not half as bad as I have made it out to be, and just like this weekend I don't have to do it alone.

Do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will take care of itself, today has enough troubles of its own. (Matthew 6:34)

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