Today is a rough day for me. I am dealing with a realization that I had last night and I am finding it tough to admit. It's tough but I am admitting it and I am praying that God gives me peace about it.
This is definitely a ditch that I have found myself in. However, I know that God is going to help me get out of it. I know this because I have asked Him to and He is faithful and good. I keep asking Him to help me and when I do that peace that surpasses all understanding takes over and I am able to go on for a little longer in my day.
My realization is that I am an alcoholic. I didn't think that I was because I don't drink all the time and I have stopped drinking before completely, for awhile. But when things become unmanageable in my life I find myself drinking to numb the pain and sometimes I do it to "show someone else." Today I am going to a meeting. I have been going to Celebrate Recovery for awhile, but this has been for my codependency, anger, and control issues. I feel today that maybe alcoholism could be the root of all my issues.
So today I am admitting that I have a problem and that I am powerless over changing it. I am praying constantly because He says that I should rejoice always, pray continually, and give thanks in all circumstances because this is God's will for me. (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)
So that's where I am today. I am rejoicing that I am able to see clearly that I do indeed have a problem. I am praying continually for God's help, guidance and peace in getting help to deal with my problem. And I am giving thanks that I have someone in my life who loves me enough to tell me the truth and help me to recognize the truth in me.
Showing posts with label peace. Show all posts
Showing posts with label peace. Show all posts
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Reflections
Today I am reflecting. I am reflecting on my conversations with God. I have had a lot of them in the past few days. I have been talking to him about all the things that are going on in my life.
This new road definitely has twists and turns. I sometimes find myself thrown off into a ditch next to one of the especially sharp curves. This is when it is the toughest for me to turn to God for help. The first thing on my mind is how am I going to climb up out of the ditch and get on with my life. How am I going to fix it? And if it has anything to do with someone else, how am I going to fix them?
Today when I found myself in a ditch on the side of my road I tried something new. Something that I have always said you should do, but I realize I have never really done it. I talked to God. I ask Him to help me up out of the ditch. And do you know what happened? He did!
The moment after I asked for God to help me I felt that peace that surpasses all understanding. That peace only God can give you. You can't do anything to create this kind of peace. Then I prayed for the peace to stay and comfort me. He makes me lie down in green pastures...His rod and His staff they comfort me. Praise the Lord for peace!
This new road definitely has twists and turns. I sometimes find myself thrown off into a ditch next to one of the especially sharp curves. This is when it is the toughest for me to turn to God for help. The first thing on my mind is how am I going to climb up out of the ditch and get on with my life. How am I going to fix it? And if it has anything to do with someone else, how am I going to fix them?
Today when I found myself in a ditch on the side of my road I tried something new. Something that I have always said you should do, but I realize I have never really done it. I talked to God. I ask Him to help me up out of the ditch. And do you know what happened? He did!
The moment after I asked for God to help me I felt that peace that surpasses all understanding. That peace only God can give you. You can't do anything to create this kind of peace. Then I prayed for the peace to stay and comfort me. He makes me lie down in green pastures...His rod and His staff they comfort me. Praise the Lord for peace!
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